There comes a time in everyone's life when he/she is required to think about getting serious in a relation. You know the guy/girl for quite some time now and find yourself to be compatible in many grounds. You even seem to share many similar interests. You have officially been on dates and now think if you should take the next step (and the most important one!). While you ponder over the question is it time to be serious in a relation, we bring you the answer right here. Read on further to know when to become serious in a relation.
Living together as a family may seem like a Herculean task but it is not impossible and definitely not a decision that you will regret. In fact, it is as normal as going on your first date. You may be a bit apprehensive at first but will like it and accept it as an integral part of your life. Life takes new turns as time goes and this is an important turn in your life. keep the romance alive, . Another new development among the generation of today is the idea of live-in relationships. . Finally, when the time comes, you will know it. It just happens. Listen to your gut feeling when making THE decision and everything will fall in place.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Managing Long Distance Relationships
The phrase speaks for itself. Long distance relation means having a relationship with a person who is physically away from you. Staying away and surviving a long distance relationship is no less than a Herculean task. Just thinking about the distance can bring tears to your eyes. Sometimes you may even wonder if it is worth the wait. But deep down inside, you have a gut feeling that when you meet up, it going to be a divine experience. Just that hope keeps you both going. Read on for useful tips on long distance relationship and how to deal with the absence of your beloved.
.Be in regular touch with each other. Never ever let a communication gap crop up between you even for a short while. Incase you wont be in touch with him/her for some time due to some inevitable reasons, inform the person rather than keep him/her worrying and doubting.
Plan future dates. This way atleast you have the hope of meeting up again and it is easier counting the days left to meet up than keep someone waiting forever.
.Exchange as many photographs as you can. This adds to a more personal touch as you get to see the person instead of mere emails and phone calls.
.Plan a surprise visit if you can. It shows how much you care and crave to be with your beloved even if it is for a few moments.
Never make the mistake of not being there when your beloved needs you. You can make up for your physical absence by listening to him/her over the phone. It is very helpful to listen to your beloved's pain and assuring that everything will be fine.
.Be in regular touch with each other. Never ever let a communication gap crop up between you even for a short while. Incase you wont be in touch with him/her for some time due to some inevitable reasons, inform the person rather than keep him/her worrying and doubting.
Plan future dates. This way atleast you have the hope of meeting up again and it is easier counting the days left to meet up than keep someone waiting forever.
.Exchange as many photographs as you can. This adds to a more personal touch as you get to see the person instead of mere emails and phone calls.
.Plan a surprise visit if you can. It shows how much you care and crave to be with your beloved even if it is for a few moments.
Never make the mistake of not being there when your beloved needs you. You can make up for your physical absence by listening to him/her over the phone. It is very helpful to listen to your beloved's pain and assuring that everything will be fine.
Toxic Relationship
Toxic relationships are a kind of unhealthy relationships, which occur due to the presence of toxic people in a relationship. As a mater of fact, a toxic relationship can exist at any social level. There can be toxic friends, parents, colleagues, bosses and partners, a relationship with whom will be termed as toxic. However, one should also know the attributes of toxic people and the signs of a toxic relationship to recognize the situation and handle it better. Though every relationship involves a bit of bickering on trivial matters, you need to look out if it goes out of limits. A toxic relationship can leave you stranded in an emotional deadlock and leave you hurt and depressed.
The Basics
Toxic people are a threat to your emotional health, with mood swings, short temper, inconsistencies, denial and impulsive behavior being the norm. At times they might acknowledge the inappropriateness of their behavior in front of you, but will never ever take any steps to mend their ways. A profound contradiction is found in their behavior, as they say something else and do something else. Their behavior is quite frequently abusive, with shallow feelings for their partner or their feelings. They even give concealed threats of leaving or withholding their love.
A toxic person will often make his/her partner feel that he/she does not care about him/her and even accuse him/her of being self entered. Such people look down on their companions with shame, insult and sarcasm, but are very good controllers of people and situation. They use their charming and seductive skills to keep their partner glued. The best way to handle such situations is to be aware and to avoid. Know a person well before developing any kind of relationship with him or her. In case it is unavoidable and you feel you are in a toxic relationship, be strong enough to get out of it, conquering all your fears.
Danger Signs
.You are put you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
.Your partner isolates you from your family, friends and even kids.
.Your partner spies on you.
.Your partner puts the blame on you for the failing relationship, expecting you to change or try solely to make things work.
.Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments or words are devalued.
.Your self identity is lost, as you become over dependent on him, without any clue about how to survive without him.
.Your partner is over dominating, leaving no space for your preference.
.You feel afraid or unsafe with your partner and even escape from telling the truth at times for fear of upsetting him.
.Your self-esteem is on an all time low, as your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
.Your partner is overly possessive and over powering
The Basics
Toxic people are a threat to your emotional health, with mood swings, short temper, inconsistencies, denial and impulsive behavior being the norm. At times they might acknowledge the inappropriateness of their behavior in front of you, but will never ever take any steps to mend their ways. A profound contradiction is found in their behavior, as they say something else and do something else. Their behavior is quite frequently abusive, with shallow feelings for their partner or their feelings. They even give concealed threats of leaving or withholding their love.
A toxic person will often make his/her partner feel that he/she does not care about him/her and even accuse him/her of being self entered. Such people look down on their companions with shame, insult and sarcasm, but are very good controllers of people and situation. They use their charming and seductive skills to keep their partner glued. The best way to handle such situations is to be aware and to avoid. Know a person well before developing any kind of relationship with him or her. In case it is unavoidable and you feel you are in a toxic relationship, be strong enough to get out of it, conquering all your fears.
Danger Signs
.You are put you down verbally, in private or in front of others.
.Your partner isolates you from your family, friends and even kids.
.Your partner spies on you.
.Your partner puts the blame on you for the failing relationship, expecting you to change or try solely to make things work.
.Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments or words are devalued.
.Your self identity is lost, as you become over dependent on him, without any clue about how to survive without him.
.Your partner is over dominating, leaving no space for your preference.
.You feel afraid or unsafe with your partner and even escape from telling the truth at times for fear of upsetting him.
.Your self-esteem is on an all time low, as your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
.Your partner is overly possessive and over powering
Resolving Conflicts in Relationship
The fact that conflicts in relationships are inevitable remains an undeniable truth. While some tiffs bring the couple closer to each other, there are some which are hurtful and destructive. At the onset, it is important for the couple to avoid any such issue, since it can shake the very foundation of their love and relationship. Secondly, even if issues do crop up, it is important to remember that nothing is greater than your relationship. Conflict resolution is not that difficult a task as it is considered to be. What it requires is a conscious effort on part of both the partners, who are ready to solve things with an open mind and value each other’s feelings. To know how to resolve conflicts in a relationship, read on.
Resolving Conflict in Relationships
Compromising
Compromise is the sure shot formula for resolving conflicts in a relationship. Approaching any circumstance with a right or wrong attitude leads to a win or lose situation. This aggravates the affair and takes the form of an issue. Both the individuals vie to prove the other person wrong & eventually end up being bitter and resentful. On the other hand, compromise provides a win-win situation. Each partner has a role to play and should not stick to his version, rather have an open approach. The three basic ingredients of compromise are
Both of them should give a little
The couple should meet as many needs as possible
Both of them should work for the betterment of the relationship, rather than their own desires.
Capitulation
Capitulation is basically giving the authority in other person’s hands and being ready to do things his way. Though it may sound difficult to do and mean dependence on the other person, at times, it is very necessary. You can see it from a completely different perspective and name it cooperation. This is because capitulation basically states that the relationship is superior to anybody’s will and even the issue. Thus, giving up in front of the other person reaffirms the above feeling and reassures that you are ready to do efforts to make things better.
Co-existence
Usually after a certain period of time, couples become individualistic in approach. They give more importance to their own ideologies and perspectives and find it hard to put themselves in other person’s shoes. It is important for a couple to understand that conflicts in relationships are inevitable and partners can differ over issues at times. Learning to ‘agree to disagree’ is a vital point in any relationship. If you disagree, patch things up by compromising. This way both of you can resolve any issue, without damaging your relationship.
Resolving Conflict in Relationships
Compromising
Compromise is the sure shot formula for resolving conflicts in a relationship. Approaching any circumstance with a right or wrong attitude leads to a win or lose situation. This aggravates the affair and takes the form of an issue. Both the individuals vie to prove the other person wrong & eventually end up being bitter and resentful. On the other hand, compromise provides a win-win situation. Each partner has a role to play and should not stick to his version, rather have an open approach. The three basic ingredients of compromise are
Both of them should give a little
The couple should meet as many needs as possible
Both of them should work for the betterment of the relationship, rather than their own desires.
Capitulation
Capitulation is basically giving the authority in other person’s hands and being ready to do things his way. Though it may sound difficult to do and mean dependence on the other person, at times, it is very necessary. You can see it from a completely different perspective and name it cooperation. This is because capitulation basically states that the relationship is superior to anybody’s will and even the issue. Thus, giving up in front of the other person reaffirms the above feeling and reassures that you are ready to do efforts to make things better.
Co-existence
Usually after a certain period of time, couples become individualistic in approach. They give more importance to their own ideologies and perspectives and find it hard to put themselves in other person’s shoes. It is important for a couple to understand that conflicts in relationships are inevitable and partners can differ over issues at times. Learning to ‘agree to disagree’ is a vital point in any relationship. If you disagree, patch things up by compromising. This way both of you can resolve any issue, without damaging your relationship.
Challenges in Relationships
Being in a happy relationship is one of the most beautiful blessings endowed upon a person. The companionship and the blissful existence of the person you love can really make the world go round. In the beginning of a relationship, everyone feels on cloud nine, as the ecstasy and elation it provides is simply unparalleled. However, as the relationship moves on, it is faced by the harsh realities of life. The complexities and irregularities, prevalent in the world today, take a toll on the love nest, thereby exposing it to the storm of challenges. Those who survive the tempest, move ahead with grace while others part ways. To understand the challenges that might occur in a relationship, read on.
Problems Faced in a Relationship
Stress Levels and Anger
Due to high levels of stress in lives, people are forced to work in undesirable working conditions, which lead to frustration and anger. This is topped by the family pressure, which aggravates the situation further. Thus, people take out all their anger on their partners and blame them for various problems. This leads to perilous situations, like divorce.
Lack of Time
Lack of time is the common story in every household. Couples do not have time for friends, family, children, and even for themselves. The cut throat competition in the professional field and the household responsibilities do not leave any time for the partners. Thus, the connection between the two begins to fade. The luster and spark in the relationship becomes low, leading to monotony.
Infidelity
One of the most widespread challenges in a relationship is the threat of infidelity or adultery. In the present scenario, both the partners are working and spend a major chunk of the time away from each other. Even the remaining time is utilized in taking take care of other responsibilities. This does not provide partners enough time to please each other physically and emotionally. This leads to attraction outside marriage.
Lack of Communication
Lack of communication widens gap between the partners in a relationship. It can lead to serous problems, if not taken care of in time. The result might be an increasing the distance between the partners, alienating them and making them indifferent towards each other’s feelings, desires and wants. Therefore, it is utterly necessary for the partners to communicate with each other on regular basis, so that they can relate with each other effectively.
Finance
Finance related issues are amongst the most common challenges faced by couples nowadays. In a relationship, couples are expected to manage and cooperate in the expenditure and savings of their wealth. However, difference in opinion, with relation to the above-mentioned facts, can really cause problems. Ambiguity in ambitions, expectations and strategy, with respect to finances, can be hazardous for a couple.
Problems Faced in a Relationship
Stress Levels and Anger
Due to high levels of stress in lives, people are forced to work in undesirable working conditions, which lead to frustration and anger. This is topped by the family pressure, which aggravates the situation further. Thus, people take out all their anger on their partners and blame them for various problems. This leads to perilous situations, like divorce.
Lack of Time
Lack of time is the common story in every household. Couples do not have time for friends, family, children, and even for themselves. The cut throat competition in the professional field and the household responsibilities do not leave any time for the partners. Thus, the connection between the two begins to fade. The luster and spark in the relationship becomes low, leading to monotony.
Infidelity
One of the most widespread challenges in a relationship is the threat of infidelity or adultery. In the present scenario, both the partners are working and spend a major chunk of the time away from each other. Even the remaining time is utilized in taking take care of other responsibilities. This does not provide partners enough time to please each other physically and emotionally. This leads to attraction outside marriage.
Lack of Communication
Lack of communication widens gap between the partners in a relationship. It can lead to serous problems, if not taken care of in time. The result might be an increasing the distance between the partners, alienating them and making them indifferent towards each other’s feelings, desires and wants. Therefore, it is utterly necessary for the partners to communicate with each other on regular basis, so that they can relate with each other effectively.
Finance
Finance related issues are amongst the most common challenges faced by couples nowadays. In a relationship, couples are expected to manage and cooperate in the expenditure and savings of their wealth. However, difference in opinion, with relation to the above-mentioned facts, can really cause problems. Ambiguity in ambitions, expectations and strategy, with respect to finances, can be hazardous for a couple.
Sustaining Heart Break
Those romantic, never ending conversations on the phone have been stopped abruptly. You seem to have lost a part of you. You just can't seem to stop thinking about what went wrong with you and your beloved. You are blank and can't seem to think of anything else but how to sustain this heartbreak. It has never been easy sustaining heartbreaks after a long romantic relation. Just when you think everything is fine and couldn't have been better, it hits like a thunderbolt. If you are one of those, nursing a broken heart, read on further to know the tips for surviving a heart break.
Let it Out - The best way to make you feel less worse (if not better!), is by letting out the steam. Cry, moan, grumble, scream, whatever it takes to let out the stress and pain. Believe me, you'll feel a lot better after you let go off those harsh feelings instead of clinging onto it.
Accept Reality - You have to come in terms with reality. Your worst fears have come true. You are single. It hurts, but it is better to accept the reality of life rather than living in a make believe world, thinking that time is going to turn back. It will only make it more difficult for you to accept this fact, as time goes on.
Divert Yourself - Get a pet, develop a new hobby, learn a new language, do anything that diverts your attention and makes you happy. Cook your favorite dish and have it all by yourself. Visit old age homes, spend some quality time with the elderly and make them smile. Many people have benefited from the idea of bringing home a pet. Adopt a stray pup or take one home from the animal shelter. If you can't keep a pet, grow a flowering plant. Take care of it and nurture it like a baby. It is a great stress buster.
Time for Friends - Gather all your close friends and throw a small party at your place. If not a party, call them over for lunch or a sleepover. Spend time with them and talk about what is hurting you. You will be surprised to see their support for you. Hire a comedy movie and watch it together. Laugh your heart out and by the end of the day, you will realize that life isn't so bad after all!
Pamper Yourself - It always helps to look good and pamper yourself. Go to your nearest salon, get a new hairdo, a good relaxing aroma massage and step out fully rejuvenated. You will not only look good, but feel good too
Let it Out - The best way to make you feel less worse (if not better!), is by letting out the steam. Cry, moan, grumble, scream, whatever it takes to let out the stress and pain. Believe me, you'll feel a lot better after you let go off those harsh feelings instead of clinging onto it.
Accept Reality - You have to come in terms with reality. Your worst fears have come true. You are single. It hurts, but it is better to accept the reality of life rather than living in a make believe world, thinking that time is going to turn back. It will only make it more difficult for you to accept this fact, as time goes on.
Divert Yourself - Get a pet, develop a new hobby, learn a new language, do anything that diverts your attention and makes you happy. Cook your favorite dish and have it all by yourself. Visit old age homes, spend some quality time with the elderly and make them smile. Many people have benefited from the idea of bringing home a pet. Adopt a stray pup or take one home from the animal shelter. If you can't keep a pet, grow a flowering plant. Take care of it and nurture it like a baby. It is a great stress buster.
Time for Friends - Gather all your close friends and throw a small party at your place. If not a party, call them over for lunch or a sleepover. Spend time with them and talk about what is hurting you. You will be surprised to see their support for you. Hire a comedy movie and watch it together. Laugh your heart out and by the end of the day, you will realize that life isn't so bad after all!
Pamper Yourself - It always helps to look good and pamper yourself. Go to your nearest salon, get a new hairdo, a good relaxing aroma massage and step out fully rejuvenated. You will not only look good, but feel good too
Being Friend With ur EX
It is tough moving on after the break up and you have just one question on mind. Is it worth being friends with your ex? You want to move on yet cling to your past. Being friends with your ex might seem like a great idea but it does not always work out that way. Read on further to know can lovers be friends or not.
The Green Eyed Monster - You may deny it as much as you want to, but you will feel miserably jealous when your ex (now friend) goes out on a date and has a wonderful time. It is human nature to feel so, it not wrong. But why make yourself and the other person feel miserable by feeling jealous and sending wrong vibes and wishing you never remained friends.
Passion is Still There - No matter how much you claim that you are friends, every time you see him/her, your heart still misses a beat. You have had some intimate moments together and every time you see your ex, you seem to relive those memories and silently enjoy. Yet another reason why it is not advisable to be friends with your ex.
Confiding is Tough - Friends share anything and everything with each other. But when that friend happens to be an ex, it becomes very difficult to confide in personal details. For instance, you have a big date coming up and you are wondering what should you wear to look stunning. You wouldn't go around asking your date whether you look good in the short black dress or the backless red one!
Comfort Zone - You have had a bad day at work, or maybe a fight with some one. You want to sit and talk to your friend about it. You feel the need to be pampered and hugged. Surely, your ex isn't the right person for it. For all that you know, you might be back to square one. The comfort level that you share with a friend and your ex can never be the same.
The Green Eyed Monster - You may deny it as much as you want to, but you will feel miserably jealous when your ex (now friend) goes out on a date and has a wonderful time. It is human nature to feel so, it not wrong. But why make yourself and the other person feel miserable by feeling jealous and sending wrong vibes and wishing you never remained friends.
Passion is Still There - No matter how much you claim that you are friends, every time you see him/her, your heart still misses a beat. You have had some intimate moments together and every time you see your ex, you seem to relive those memories and silently enjoy. Yet another reason why it is not advisable to be friends with your ex.
Confiding is Tough - Friends share anything and everything with each other. But when that friend happens to be an ex, it becomes very difficult to confide in personal details. For instance, you have a big date coming up and you are wondering what should you wear to look stunning. You wouldn't go around asking your date whether you look good in the short black dress or the backless red one!
Comfort Zone - You have had a bad day at work, or maybe a fight with some one. You want to sit and talk to your friend about it. You feel the need to be pampered and hugged. Surely, your ex isn't the right person for it. For all that you know, you might be back to square one. The comfort level that you share with a friend and your ex can never be the same.
Move Without Hurting
Rejection always hurts. No matter how much you sugar coat the truth, it always upsets the two souls who used to be in love. It is definitely better to end relationships amicably instead of fretting and fuming and making it even more difficult to go apart. If you are where you think your relation is not going the right way and you are thinking how to break off without hurting, you have come to the right place. Read on tips for breaking off without hurting yourself and the other person.
Make it Personal - NEVER break the news through a phone call, e-mail, or text message. It becomes even more rude and very impersonal and tells the other person that you don't really care. Sit and talk to each other face-to-face and sort things out amicably.
Be Honest - Being sincere and open about your feelings and talking about why you feel it is not going to work out is the best way to end a relation. Instead of going back in time and arguing what went wrong with the other person, it better you say what you feel. Don't hide your feelings and be honest about why you are feeling uncomfortable in the relationship.
Specify Reasons - Give a strong reason to support your break up. It is not wise to keep the other person wondering as to what went wrong. No one wants to think that they were just used as a time pass. Remember, what goes around, comes back. Someday you could be in the same position.
Control your Temper - This applies not only to the person who is giving the news of break up, but also the person at the receiving end. There is no need to get worked up and get angry at each other. Calling names and screaming does not help, it only makes things worse. It is okay to get upset and cry if you are feeling miserable. But creating a scene and making a further mess of a delicate situation does not help.
Make it Personal - NEVER break the news through a phone call, e-mail, or text message. It becomes even more rude and very impersonal and tells the other person that you don't really care. Sit and talk to each other face-to-face and sort things out amicably.
Be Honest - Being sincere and open about your feelings and talking about why you feel it is not going to work out is the best way to end a relation. Instead of going back in time and arguing what went wrong with the other person, it better you say what you feel. Don't hide your feelings and be honest about why you are feeling uncomfortable in the relationship.
Specify Reasons - Give a strong reason to support your break up. It is not wise to keep the other person wondering as to what went wrong. No one wants to think that they were just used as a time pass. Remember, what goes around, comes back. Someday you could be in the same position.
Control your Temper - This applies not only to the person who is giving the news of break up, but also the person at the receiving end. There is no need to get worked up and get angry at each other. Calling names and screaming does not help, it only makes things worse. It is okay to get upset and cry if you are feeling miserable. But creating a scene and making a further mess of a delicate situation does not help.
Managing Heartbreaks
Breaking up from a loving relationship is never easy for anyone. It can not only break your confidence, make you feel miserable and shatter your spirits, but also make it hard for you to trust anyone in future. Managing heartbreaks is one of the most difficult things to do and it becomes almost impossible if it is your first love. break off and end a relation amicably without hurting the other person too much.
You have to accept the fact that a relation started has to end someday in case you are not thinking of a long-term commitment. Even then, sometimes a marriage can go horribly wrong and leave couples in a very bitter state in life. In order to end a relation amicably, It is not the end of the world. There is life after a heartbreak too! Another article of interest would be whether to remain friends with your ex or not. Make things better, not worse.
You have to accept the fact that a relation started has to end someday in case you are not thinking of a long-term commitment. Even then, sometimes a marriage can go horribly wrong and leave couples in a very bitter state in life. In order to end a relation amicably, It is not the end of the world. There is life after a heartbreak too! Another article of interest would be whether to remain friends with your ex or not. Make things better, not worse.
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